Healing the past and the echoes of it together with resentments and negative feelings can feel like a huge step towards your inner peace. Once you acknowledged the need of healing you already did the first step to change.
The past won't change because it doesn't exists anymore, the only one recalling it is just yourself. Living in the past instead living in the present means you are blocked in the trap of your own mind. If you follow the negative thoughts and keep thinking of it you bring it in the present making it alive again and again.
I recently went through an exploratory and healing of a past relationship myself. Initially I wasn't aware of the need to heal that past until I noticed that somehow I cannot truly move forward and I felt completely stacked in a situation I didn't liked. I needed to do practical steps to resolve that situation, but because of the resentments I emotionally felt, I had no power to progress.
Here are some insights of the things I did that helped me to heal and emotionally unblock my capacity of action. If you feel stacked in resentments related to any kind of relationship, I suggest to follow these steps.
Be mindful, acknowledge
Mindfulness takes time to learn how to practice, but once you learn to acknowledge your feelings you'll be able to understand where did they come from and how they can influence your thoughts and well-being.
The first and most important thing that helped me moving forward was the simple acknowledgement of the problem I had. The moment I realised I felt blocked to simply making a phone-call or contacting someone without any rational justification, combined with multiple negative feelings of being angry, blaming the other side and feeling dissapointed made me aware that something needs to change inside me.
Ask for help
Sometimes you may not know how to solve a situation and you may need a detached eye that can see the whole thing from outside. Asking for help is normal and it shouldn't be complicated, all you need is to find the support that feels right for you and access it.
To me this was the help I received in my own coaching journey and I asked for help once I've been able to acknowledge my blockages.
Journal your self-reflections
Journaling is the time that you take for yourself and dedicate to exploring your thoughts, emotions and actions. It helps you to get to know yourself better and understand your own patterns of thinking.
To me this is a continuous process of reflection and transformation, of being with myself and working on my own healing and well-being.
My journaling practice for healing the past has covered a few areas where I dedicated a good piece of time being mindful and present:
What I feel frustrated and sad about
What I am grateful for
What I learned
What do I need forgive: myself and others
What I am ready to release
I would suggest you to allow yourself time to go deeply into your soul and respond to all of these questions, even if for some of them you'll find it difficult to express them and write them down. Be kind and allow yourself to feel what it comes for you.
Create, express your feelings
Journaling is doing its part but sometimes there are feelings that you may not be able to identify. The best way to allow them to come to light is to express and represent them in a physical form.
To me this was the moment when I immersed myself into a new mandala drawing and I had the chance to express physically on the paper everything that my mind couldn't figure out.
For you it can be drawing, dancing, exercising, running, singing, anything that is creative and allows your energy flowing and ending in something physical. It doesn't have to be beautiful, it has to feel releasing.
Forgiveness comes from kindness and our own ability to love ourselves and project that love to others. I feel that forgiveness comes so deeply from within as the most precious gift that we can offer ourselves and to the world. It's about self love, awareness and a conscious choice to feel positive about a negative situation.
The whole process of letting-go and healing is culminating with the capacity to forgive and transform the negative feelings into kindness, compassion, and respect. It comes more as a conclusion of all previous steps, as an expression of beauty and love.
I invite you to go deeply within and find your own capacity to forgive, yourself and then others.
May the love and kindness be with you,
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