Why I don't have New Year resolutions
We are in the New Year and I have to confess for this year I felt to not set any resolutions or goals.
Looking at my social media feed I thought I might doing something wrong. First I just delayed the moment, I started with a review of the year 2017, so far so good - I learned my lessons, I did the work, but when it comes to 2018 I felt completely unnecessary to set-up goals.
I am sure everyone wants to feel at ease, to live peaceful, calm and happy. To feel good. To live in the flow. Setting goals somehow it takes us off the state of ease and flow and it makes us feel attached to the outcome and sometimes without understanding our own human limits and also ignoring that some things will not happen because there are not under our control.
Non-attachment is an important principle of mindfulness that I learned to integrate it into my own life. Non-attachment means to live in the flow, enjoy the process without being obsessed with the outcome of a certain activity.
This doesn't mean we won't perform, this actually means we will perform better because we are completely focused on the process - so in the present moment instead of achieving results - which means focus on the future. In this very general case the process being our own life.
I think non-attachment means also to be kind to ourselves and instead of trying to lead our lives in a corporate style goal and success oriented culture we need to allow us to explore more, to adjust, to reconsider and let-go of what doesn't work. Or, when we have strict goals and a strict strategy to follow, we lose the importance of adjusting on the way and applying our own learnings and observations.
I think a life lived in a circle of goals - strategy - achievement attitude it's a sad life. It means losing our human senses, reflections, and capacity to adapt and to change when something maybe is not for us. It also makes us losing opportunities because our mind is focused on the pre-written plan that we made to make sure we achieve exactly what we want to achieve.
Most of the time we want to achieve something to fulfill a human need. We set a goal with the knowledge that we have at that moment and then if we stick to the plan for the whole year it means we don't allow ourselves space to grow, experience and learn. We just push ourselves to follow a plan that we made with the limited knowledge we have.
I wasn't like that. I used to set goals, have high ambitions, I used to compete first to myself, then with my loved ones and then with everybody else. I felt I need to demonstrate something to the world: that I am capable, smart, that I can make good money. Despite achieving my goals I realised I wasn't happy and I felt completely unfulfilled and without any joy of living the life I had.
Once I learned to live mindfully I also learned to let go the goals obsession and replace it with something else: Intentions.
I love to reflect what do I want to experience and attract in my life and I do it every month at the New Moon time and then I have a gratitude and revision practice at the Full Moon time. I do journalling a lot. I feel this is much more in alignment with my lifestyle and also it helps me to be kind to myself and others, to take time to reflect deeper what is really important to me and why.
Did you set New Year resolutions? Or intentions? What do you feel it motivates you in doing so? What do you feel you could do differently to live in the flow, happy and at ease?
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